i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
