every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm too high and old for this...
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
