You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
