Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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