Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
