Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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