Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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