Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
