So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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