okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
i think im in europe. pls send help
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
