Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Randomize
