If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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