what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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