I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
barbara walters just said penis...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
