Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I still have a little drunk in my system
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
