My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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