The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
