I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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