broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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