so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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