My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
