I wish i was in the wii world.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
