I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
