For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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