You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
