The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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