U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize