I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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