I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
