did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
