Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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