I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
