hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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