The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
