How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
