is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
