Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
