Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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