If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
