I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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