wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
