Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
