worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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