There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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