i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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