Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
