Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize