I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
