She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
