Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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