it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
only you would photoshop your dick
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
