sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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