Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
