Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
