my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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