I skipped work to stalk him.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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