is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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