kristin has been a bad kristin
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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