I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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