i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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