Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize