She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
