Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
