so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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