and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize